In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize