Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize