How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize