That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
