i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
