Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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