U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
