I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
