I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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