our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
