naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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