Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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