He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
