I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
