do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize