i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
