You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
