I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize