Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
