Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
