It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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