Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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