would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
