We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize