Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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