I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize