remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
