Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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