i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
