I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
it's like iHOP with fire
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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