Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
