After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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