We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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