Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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