'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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