I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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