Don't you send me to vm
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
