I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
