Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My feet surprised me
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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