Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
