I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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