he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
