So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
