dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
