I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize