i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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