I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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