forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
