Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
