im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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