I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
