I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
