Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just want nice things and good sex
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
