he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
