I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
