he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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