He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
