yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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