Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
