I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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