So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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