I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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