I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
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