We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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