Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
