The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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