just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
