Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
