nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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